Yesterday, i downloaded a complete archive of my tweets - over 25k of tweets since i signed up on 16th Nov 09. It reveals something, at least most of everything about me. I just turned 26 few days ago, and its kinda made a big impression on me. It makes me wonder who i was and where i am about to go for the next step.
I didn’t know if there’s a search in finding who we are. I didn’t know where to look. But when i was 18, one of my dorm mate who’s the eldest among of us, told me that this is the time we’re looking for ourselves. I remembering back then, i’m disagreeing, but i never push out my voice until few years later.
I didn’t really grew up actually in my teenagers. When friends about my age studying really hard, i found myself making troubles, skipping the class until i got last warning letters. I couldn’t get away with it. Yet back then, i know the value of having certificate will make it easier for me to get a job. But there’s another way somehow, i didn’t see it back then but its quite clear that somehow i knew, that it didn’t help me much.
I can’t convince myself if i want to work in IT department for the rest of my life. When we grow up, we’re told to go to school, study hard, get a great results, then find a job, save up money, get married and have a bunch of kids. It might be a good dreams for most people, but the truth is, its not my dreams back then. I didn’t even know if i ever had a dream.
So for the most of the time, all i ever did is following my heart and intuition. Its something that i believe somehow, is the right thing for me to do so. Eventhough it might shed some tears, some pain along the way. Its something that i knew from the inside, is the right thing for me to do. There’s used to be a time when i’m really living a hard life, barely have anything
to eat or place to sleep, here i am, in the strange land, cursing my life all over again.
But as wisdom gained from failure that make up experience, eventually i started to seeing it is the best thing that ever happened to me. All the time i lost and wasted, has been replaced with valuable lessons that taught me the most about life. Its like me, finally, being born again.
I start to seeing things differently now. I still remember the bus ride from the airport to my house on 19th January 2009. Its a familiar view that kind of different now. Its like i can see the other side of the coin. So whenever i think my life is about to end, whether its about love or failure, i start seeing it as a way to begin of something new.
Time goes by, friends come and go, laughs and tears, i learnt to play fast and loose quick. I can see that in doing the right thing, its something that might against your will, which is not the best thing. But somehow in future, it will answer your doubt - whether you’re going to cry about it or you’re going to thank for it.
After few years, i can finally dream it. What i’ve been through in my whole life so far taught me one thing - use your logic, but do listen to your heart and follow by your intuition. You don’t have to be the part of common systems. If you’re willing to travel half the world to find a teacher, one will appear next door. Trust me on this.
Heavenly earth - where i spent the day turning 26.
About my dream? Well, as most people might see it as stupid things, i do believe in it. I’m dreaming to change the world.
Stay hungry, stay foolish.